Well, this year WAS planned out to perfection with everything neatly scheduled in my diary. 2020 had other ideas though!
I am definitely a self-certified control freak but this year has been a harsh reminder that I can’t always be in control. Sometimes, no matter what you do, you are at the mercy of the world around you.
I’ve spent many days in the last 7 months with my positive pants around my ankles. Days where I’ve had to have a word with myself!
A big part of being self-employed is being in control of when you work and how you work. To have that snatched away from me back in March and be told I couldn’t go out to work full stop was a hard thing for me to accept as I know it was for so many others. I felt like my world had been shook up and down like a snow globe and that there was nothing I could do about it.
Slowly but surely, I came to terms with lockdown and focused all my energy on preparing for my return to work without knowing when that would be.
The end of July came like a light at the end of a tunnel and I steadily began to return to classes. Since I’ve been back teaching, it’s felt like I’ve regained some control.
That being said, the last few weeks have been overwhelmingly busy. It’s been a month since my last blog post, I’ve struggled responding to messages without delay and I’ve only just started posting again on my social media channels after falling completely silent for the best part of a month. It’s been frustrating not being able to fit it all in. I’ve missed the satisfaction of ticking everything off on my weekly to-do lists.
I’ve had to remind myself that all the classes I run were not all set up at the same time. Whilst restarting my classes hasn’t meant going back to square one, it’s been no picnic! I’ve had to tackle one at a time and I’ve still not got them all back up and running just yet. The process has been time-consuming, admin-heavy and just not as simple as saying, “Class is back on tonight! Come down, the more the merrier!” Even small jobs like setting up and tidying up after a class now take longer. I’ve felt like a duck on water at times, calm on the surface but paddling like billy-o underneath!
I’ve seen plenty of social media posts recently urging us not to be too hard on ourselves right now and reminding us, “There’s a global pandemic going on!” It seems a bit of a cop-out to blame all my unfinished to-do lists on COVID…but it’s definitely got a lot to answer for!
The motto of the year seems to be, “We will have to wait and see.” I’ve never been very good at going with the flow though. I’ve always preferred to know where the flow was going well in advance so I could prepare! But I’m getting better at it. I’ve had to, as we all have.
If this year has taught us anything so far, it’s that we are more resilient than we give ourselves credit for. We might not be able to control the situation we are in, but we do have some control over how we respond to it, how we handle it and how we let it affect us. It’s hard work, but we have to keep calm and carry on bouncing back!
Life is still for living so we need to look for enjoyment among the chaos X